DON'T BE AFRAID OF ME, EMBRACE IT

RUNNING COMMENTARY ON THE TOP EIGHT
With special guest commentators K, J, and Blanchard

(J)enny: Jeanette always wears something that wolverine has tore up before she goes on stage.
(K)ristin: I love Ells. (Yes, Kristin actually called Ellen Degeneres, Ells. They’re tight like that.)

GROUP NUMBER

(Bridget): Group number was strange and blah mostly because Tab& Nap did a group glow in the dark number previously that was much better. Plus we all agreed Kayla was far too much the focal point of that dance to enjoy.
K: Words can not describe how much I hate Kayla, even if she came over and burned my Felicity DVDs in front on me. Like in a fire not “for herself”.

EVAN/CHACHA
Bridget: We approve of Evan and Jeanette being partners, Sonja could be a pretty cool choreographer for them.

Kristi (Blanchard): Hmmm. That was alright. Evan really needed Ellen’s makeup and hair.

KAYLA'S SOLO
Bridget: Kayla is trying to confuse us by dancing her solo to the awesome Imogene Heap but we’re NOT FOOLED.

BRANDON/JEANINE

Bridget: Jeanine’s dress made her butt and boobs look huge. Butt is a bad thing, boobs is a good thing. Wow under further review her boobs actually look lopsided. The drop at the beginning of the routine was shaky and length of her dress was bad and the music was weird. I really didn’t love this.
K: I didn’t watch the dance; I was too distracted trying to figure out if Brandon was wearing leather pants.

JASON'S SOLO

Bridget: Jason was finally wearing a shirt during his solo, even if it was Ryan Atwood-esque.

OLDIE/ADE

Bridget: Oldie and Ade were partners again? LAME. What is Ade wearing?
K: Oldie is especially white.
Bridget: That dance was kinda boring and her hair is 1997 prom bad. Didn't I just warn you about this last week?
J: “You call that salsa?”

CHACHA'S SOLO

Bridget: Her solo was weird, why didn’t she do salsa? I’m so confused.

JASON/KAYLA

Bridget: (At one point during Kayla and Jason’s critique Kayla turns to Jason with a smug look and nods her head) “See Jason, I told you they were going to compliment my lines, I’m so awesome, did you see how on I was?”

K: Tyce is cool because he does lots of different kinds of Broadway.

Bridget: So Kayla, you sing, dance, act, model, dye your hair blonde, live with your awesome grandparents, and knit sweaters for eye seeing dogs? Shocker. Mia you're so silly, of course she does.

Blanchard: “Oh Mia, I do it all.”

J: I love you Mia, but calm it down about Kayla.

EVAN/CHACHA

Bridget: The Kris Allen Kanye song was great. Evan’s popped collar was great. The entire number though? Not so much. It was way too slow, the dancing wasn’t great, and LACE SHIRT ALERT. Plus Evan pulled the zoolander face for 3/4 of the number.

K: And Janette looked terrified as they walked up to get critiqued.

J: Melanie is Bette Midler’s sister from crazy town.

Bridget, K: Totally!

K: Mia has started taking antidepressants this season. (Or she's been reading the blogs that ripped her a new one over her hatred for Brandon and now she’s sucking up.)

K: Not all of us can be Kayla (mimicking Mia's serious voice).

K: I hate Kayla even more than I hate Oldie.

BRANDON/JEANINE

Bridget: So if they go to war Brandon gets to wear a gun holster and camo pants and Jeanette gets to wear underwear and a shredded tank top?

J: Jeanine looks like she takes scissors to her outfits after the designers hand over her costumes, “Thanks guys this is great.”

Bridget: Okay, we think new choreographers are sketch. But P-Diddy’s choreographer was AMAZing. I’ll look over the fact that she made Jeanine cry and wears ridiculous headphones as an accessory and SCARY NEON NAILS because we kind of loved her choreography. Plus she advises us to not be afraid of her, but embrace it. Amazing.

K: Jeanine has fantastic hair.

K: Hot Tamale train is way overused and it’s really akward when they put one partner on the train and not the other. (touche, because then you are forcing a human being to be jealous of a mythical train made of spicy Mexican peppers. And that’s just wrong.)

Blanchard: (Mia said P-Diddy's choreographer is her “sister”) Wait, they’re really sisters? Bridget: I think she meant “Sista”. (Like the way black people use it, I think it’s more meaningful that way.)

K: it must be awkward when the choreographers run in to each other after they’ve complimented one another on national television.

Bridget: Like “Hey, you said I was the best, yeah thanks, that was sweet. So um, you like stuff?”

EVAN'S SOLO

Bridget: Evan really looked like his brother in his solo. Which makes us excited for season 6.

K: my little heart just melts whenever Evan dances.

Bridget: And we love how Evan never dances to the beats at the end which makes him our fav by default.

OLDIE/ADE

Bridget: That scarf makes Oldie looks like she has cancer.

Commercial Break

Bridget: Wait, the dance is actually about cancer? Even more reasons why I’m going straight to hell. Put it on my tab.

K: Is her husband crying? (in disgust)
Blanchard: The entire audience is crying. (in equal disgust)

Bridget: It was hard to watch initially because we were distracted by Ade’s fro pick in the intro video and by the song choice (apparently this was used in a risqué scene in the movie Love and Basketball. A scene that had very little to do with cancer, if you know what I mean). We also thought the dance tried too hard for the sympathy vote. But we listened to the judges crying and speeches and watched it a second time. We admit, it was really good but agree that some sort of rigging has gone down to ensure these two were preserved for late in the game to get this exact dance. How could they possibly get voted off this week? Loved the dance. But we said we would rather see Katie and Joshua jump on stage and dance it instead.

BRANDON'S SOLO

Bridget: Brandon is really good, but still not our favorite.

KAYLA/JASON

J: Kayla gets hip hop, fina-FREAKIN-ly. Suck this up Kayla.

Dance beings.

Bridget: Huh. The makeup smearing is cool.
K: This isn’t sucking.
Bridget: Crap, this is actually kind of cool.

Bridget: That was the best Shane Sparks of the season; it’s suspicious that he saved it for Kayla. OF COURSE. We agree with Mia. The strangle was the best part of the choreography obviously because Kayla was being symbolically strangled off of the show.

[PS - I didn't have any notes on the solos for Jeanine (which was of course awesome), Oldie (blah), or Ade. Guess they didn't make a big impression on us.]

Bridget: The show's over? Hmmm…Sometimes it feels like the choreographers show the producers their numbers way in advance and then they “cast” dancers who can pull off the numbers. Basically the show is cast around the numbers. Like bringing in hoity toity Joey D who just happens to be big time Broadway and then they cast Evan in the same season? And it’s funny how it switches like that.

…. We then went in to a lengthy discussion about how this season isn’t as good as last season but then we started thinking about all the great numbers so far. And since K and J had them all recorded we went back and watched our favorites. Here’s our list:

BEST OF
Hip Hop vs. Rock, Brandon/ChaCha
Vampire Jazz, Kupono/Kayla
Week 2 Spandex Jazz, Ade/Oldie
Addiction, Kupono/Kayla
Cancer Dance, Ade/Oldie
Booty Dance, Evan/Randi
Fast Disco, Brandon/Jeanette
Crash Test Dummies (Wade), Kupono/Bird Face
Clockwork Orange (Wade), Brandon/ChaCha
Week 1 Nap Tabs number, Jeanine/Philip
Tango, Brandon/ChaCha
Travis contemporary, Jeanine/Jason

WORST OF
Pase Doble, Randi/Kupono
Russian Folk, Jeanine/Philip
Tango, Jeanine/Philip

ELIMINATIONARY (100th episode)

Alumni!! Bonus points if you can name them all without checking. I had to look up the name of second row/second from the right. And I still can't figure out who blondie third row/first from right is.

Thoughts on Katie Holmes: I’m always game for random episodes of Dawson’s Creek (even if it is inferior to Felicity and unbelievably ran two seasons longer, whatev) but autobot Joey kind of freaks me out. Throw in some tights and a top hot and it just increases the weirdness ten fold. I will say that she NAILED the “Pose Seductively With Hand on Head” move, other than that she didn’t really dance. Also, seriously? Why was she lip syncing? WHY? I’m just bugged because this 100th episode could have been really cool but it wasn’t. LAME.

Worst Guy: Evan
Worst Girl: Oldie

Who Actually Got Kicked To The Curb: ChaCha & Jason

Want to know the spoilers for TOP SIX week (tonight)?

Kayla and Brandon - Contemporary (Stacey Tookey) & Disco (Doriana Sanchez) Jeanine and Ade - Hip Hop (Nappy Tabs) & Samba (Louis van Amstel)
Melissa and Evan - Broadway (Tyce) & Quickstep (Louis van Amstel)

It's about to CRAZY! My prediction right now is Jeanine will win. We'll see.