Sunday, July 12, 2009

PIPE DOWN ENGLISH MUFFIN



ARE YOU GUYS ALL WARMED UP?

Don’t be alarmed. I’ve started calling a few of them by their real names. Don’t read into it, it doesn’t necessarily mean I like them the best.

A benefit to going to Texas last weekend is that I was able to - BONUS - spend time with The K-ster. Of course we talked So Can Dance and we both timidly agreed that this season has great technique but in terms of dancers it lacks the connection. That sounds utterly ridiculous but seriously… where are the Josh and Katie of this season? We're only half way through but I’m not REALLY feeling it with anyone yet.

Other notables from our conversation is that we both agree ChaCha has horrible hair. She knows she's on TV, right? Then why does she insist on the Nicki & Alex from Full House look (K's input) or Bad Bangs Karen Carpenter look (my input)? Just awful.


... Okay, so we've got double the dances and double the cutting remarks. HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS SPORTS FANS. PS - these aren't in order. Deal with it.

WHATEVER YOU FEEL, JUST DANCE IT

BLONDIE & KUPONO


Contemporary by Mia Michaels

Wow. That was bananas good. I have to admit that I heard this was the best of the night before I watched it (accidentally saw a spoiler on someone’s blog) so my expectations were high and it still blew me away. If I would say anything bad at all it’s that I honestly thought Blondie was a little jerky, and not in that good awkward contemporary kind of way. But she COMMITTED the crap out of it and Kupono did the same, he was amazing. Find Your Center indeed.
Standing O. This just made the Best of So Can Dance 09 Blog.

[Ellie emailed me: “Blondie without makeup? Ouch.” Oh, Ells. I miss you.]

Broadway by Joey Dowling
Man, Kupono can really pull off a vest, huh? Two in one night. Anyway, I liked Joey “I Am All Things Awesome” Dowling better this week, and her choreography was much improved.
This is my favorite kind of Broadway. Unison, big arms, and crisp costumes. Obviously, I liked this better than the judges, I even went back and watched it again and I really don't see the things they complained about. I will say it ended weirdly abruptly, almost like right before they went on stage the producers were all “PS – we’re cutting your number by ten seconds. Break a leg!” Other than that this was my favorite Broadway of the season.

RUBY & JASON


Foxtrot by Tony Meredith

Eh. At the end of the night I’m not going to remember this. I'm pretty sure the judges were thinking: So you guys are totally going home tomorrow night. We’ll just throw you some general broad comments, forced smiles, and Mary could you throw in a “Yes I did”? No? Okay just say
NICE three times then. Done and done.

Lyrical Jazz by Mandy
Moore
Ah, the other and less awesome Mandy Moore aka a poor man’s Mia/Sonja. Sucks to be her.
Unlike Sonja, her music choice is usually awful/sappy, the clothing is hit-or-miss, and the choreography is 80% blah. I would be upset to pull her number out of the magical hat (aka strategically get assigned to her to manipulate my demise). BUT I will say that this was surprisingly good. Not all time. But I liked it. It's about time these two got the Oldie/Ade treatment and actually danced in their comfort zone.

J-FACE & LIPS


Russian Folk Dance

J says it all in the clip, “Traditional Russian Folk Dancing. Get excited.” Yeah. Um... it just looked like they had to remove all the choreography because Lips couldn’t handle it. Also, why was he pulling all those weird faces? I’ve decided he’s awkward. Her on the other hand, I want to go get a root beer with. She goes up a notch every week, I'm excited to see her with other partners.

Jive by Tony Meredith
"Jive with Passion!"... she's the funniest. And again, she was awesome. He was holding her back and mildly distracting again with all the faces. It's his "I don't know what the crap I'm doing so I just smirk adorably" face, except it's not adorable at all. It's his time to go. Jason and him are
definitely in the bottom three, unfortunately. Lips man, I like you, but you're not cuttin it. Let's be friends, k?


RANDI & BROADWAY


Hip-Hop by NappyTabs

For the record: Yuck. I HATE this song with a fiery passion, when did Beyonce start pulling a Jessica Simpson with her voice (aka – over singing), oh that’s right, when she lost the oscar to J-hud.
GET OVER IT Beyonce, you’re hot, you don’t get to win the oscar too. Anyway where was I? So NappyTabs have a very specific style of dance. Which I happen to really love. It does tend to be a lot of the same, but it doesn’t bother me. And I like this number, they were both strong, which I didn't expect. Granted they did get baby hip hop (hip, hip hop, hiphopanonymous) but it worked okay. One weird critique I have for Broadway is that he kept tilting his head back and it really felt like his chin should have been tucked down. PS - I’m glad Nigel commented on the proposal coming after the baby, morality in the hizzouse!

Is there anything more awesome then when Napoleon points back at the judges when they compliment him? Love it.

Just a thought who is he going to partner with Broadway when they change it up? Are all the other girls just as short?

Samba by Pasha and Anya
Can we just take a moment for Pasha? I loved that season. Why don't they put shows like this on DVD? I never really loved Anya, but since her and Pasha always dance together (are they a real
life couple?) I'll give it up for her too. Pasha... wait, where was I? Oh right, the samba. This was good, not great. It looked like they messed up a few times and Broadway looked a little behind. Just knowing that they are uncomfortable makes me feel uncomfortable watching it... I swear those behind the scenes clips do more harm than good sometimes. They're still my favorite couple, I'm going to be sad to see them split up. And if either of them get eliminated this week I'll kick someone in the baby maker.

CHACHA & CARLTON


Argentine Tango by Leonardo and Miriam

Crap guys. They are really good. Isn’t it lame that the two best dancers are kinda boring? Yawn. I want the good dancers to be someone I’d be friends with.

PS – ChaCha, wait. You speak Spanish? I’m SHOCKED. You haven’t told us that twelve times before.

Jazz by Wade Robson
Luck dogs. The one positive to Bird Face's untimely demise was that at least she got a Wade
Robson number. This was for sure my second favorite dance of the night. It reminded me of how much I liked this Neil/Lauren number and this Spanish Guy/B Girl number and this number he did on Dancing With the Stars. Wade Robson is usually dependable for awesomeness. This is the same guy who imitated Michael Jackson on Star Search as a kid (below), choreographed Britney Spears in the early years, and hosted a dance off show on Mtv. He’s pretty amazing. Oh wait, shouldn't I be talking about ChaCha and Brandon here? Fine, this is my deal, it was the choreographer, not necessarily the dancers. A few of the other couples could have done it just as well. I will say that ChaCha did this better than Brandon. But don't get me wrong they are both still crazy good with or without Wade.



OLDIE & ADE


Disco by Doriana Sanchez

Oh Doriana, disco can look a little cheesy? Really? I’m shocked. Okay, Oldie looked a little stiff throughout (maybe nervs? But in this point in the game?) but the fall at the end was kind of endearing. And I'm still diggin Ade. It was hard to pay attention to him with her HAIR taking up the entire screen… but you know. Okay HOLD UP, her HAIR was so fun I didn’t even notice
Ade’s ensemble. What the shiny shirt and gold necklace is going on?... okay costume department, you weirdos. So to summarize: I like him, but at this point I wouldn't be sad if he went, and I still wouldn't cry in my cocoa if Oldie goes either.

Waltz by Ron Montez
This was so boring I don't even feel like making a nasty comment and pulling out a Somewhere In Time/Fantasia/watching paint dry reference. It's like "I don't remember a TIME before we started having this conversation".


ELIMINATIONARY

...Do you think Nigel meant to share their elimination process? I kind of felt like he was digging himself a hole and then just kept talking… I guess now we know for a fact that they decide eliminations beforehand. Whatevs.
...No MJ tribute? That’s crap.

...The tour is going to be in St. Louie on Halloween. Anyone want to fly out and go with me?

...GUUUYS. I’m going to be in Utah when they audition for season 6. Anyone feel like spending the night on a sidewalk with me? Huh? Huh?
...Wow. Jason’s solo was really good… too bad he’s going home.
...J-Face… honey. No. Are you dancing at the Cat Scratch later tonight? Is money that tight? I’ll send you twenty bucks if you promise never to wear that again. But A+ on your solo!
...Lips – double props for the music. The Fifth Element rules.
...I’m disappointed Oldie didn’t ride out on Cooper’s motorcycle and then dance in his bed.
...Ade’s solo was really good, I guess HE'S not boring, Oldie is.


...I’m okay with the eliminations. With all the contemporary dancers, Ruby was like 3rd best. I was sad to see Lips go, but he was def out of his league. I have a sneaking suspicion the judges kept him around as long as possible to get him on tour. They still need to sell some tickets. PS - How interesting is this new Fall season? So while the summer season is going on they can advertise for the fall season. And when the fall season is going on they can advertise for the tour. Sneaky, sneaky. But also genius.


BREAK IT DOWN NOW


***I’m Picking Up What You’re Throwing Down
Carlton/ChaCha
5-0/Blondie

***Riding The Line
Randi/Broadway

***Doing Nothing For Me, But Not Awful
Ade/Oldie

***Should Be Voted Off the Island
Lips/J Face
Aladdin/Ruby

***Who SHOULD go home: Ruby and Lips

***Who I WANT gone: Oldie and Jason

***Who ACTUALLY got kicked to the curb: Ruby and Lips

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