WHEN IT SAYS BOIL A CUP OF SALT, YOU BOIL A CUP OF SALT

I am not a fan of baking... but teaching a group of 11 year old girls requires bribes (bribes=home baked goods). I'm not great with recipes and I usually either leave out an ingredient (you don't have to add the baking powder, right?) or burn it to a crisp. With that being said, and I don't care who you are, every woman wants to be able to make an especially fabulous fresh-outta-the-oven cookie. And people, it has been done. I have found the ultimate chocolate chip cookie recipe. The adorable Jana posted this recipe on her blog and I knew the genius was all in its simplicity. I baked the ones featured above and they were deliciously easy. I can't thank you enough Jana. No more hockey-pucks or flat discs at the Carn house!

Chocolate Jana Cookies

2 sticks of butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp each of vanilla, water, baking soda, salt
2 3/4 cups flour
1 cup instant oats
chocolate chips (I used the whole bag)

Bake at 375* for 9-10 minutes! (my oven runs hot and I used the full 10 mins.)

DEAR DIARY MOMENTS

May 14, 2009
Bought plane tickets to go to Utah in July. Is there a word stronger than ecstatic? Currently compiling a list of stuff to do, see, and eat. Are we there yet? (UPDATE: Um… I'm behind the times. Just found out Jen is dating Colin. SEE, I’m missing everything!)

May 15, 2009
Brad finished his first year of Dental School. Deep sigh of relief! A summer off is unusual in the dental school world and it was one of the deciding factors in choosing SIUe. But actually “Off” is a misnomer because he’s doing research with one of his professors and getting paid an actual wage. Excellent. Now we can fund our movie going experiences.

May 16, 2009
Saw Star Trek today, Brad was embarrassed that I made him take a “Live long and prosper” picture in the parking lot afterwards. I liked the movie. He enjoyed it but had issues. On the drive home I had to pleasure of hearing all about the "historical" problems that JJ Abrams has brought to the Star Trek franchise. Ooo boy.

May 17, 2009
Made one of the ten year old girls in my class kill the cockroach that threatened my life. I’m only slightly ashamed.

May 19, 2009
Just finished reading The Bell Jar. Blah. Although well written, wildly depressing.

Watched the premier episode of Glee. Even though a bit obvious, I loved it. My only concern is: once they win Regionals where is the plot going? I guess I don’t care as long as they deliver Don’t Stop Believing caliber performances weekly.

May 20, 2009
Wow. Can’t believe Adam Lambert lost. However, Brad and I watched the performances from the season at americanidol.com and I forgot how consistently awesome Kris was. She Works Hard For the Money? Falling Slowly? Heartless? Ain’t No Sunshine? I must admit - he deserved to win. I appreciated Adam’s talent, but he only sung about two songs that I liked. Shoot me.

May 21, 2009
I’m missing the You Can Dance premier to have dinner and game night at Dave and Jana’s. But no worries! Youtube is there for me. Now I can have RBFs, play Settlers with friends and then catch up on You Can Dance this weekend. Best of Both Worlds people. Take that Miley Cyrus.

May 22, 2009
Leaving for Naperville today. Thank you Todd and Janice for getting married over a holiday weekend, now our trip won’t be quite as rushed. AKA, we have one more day to eat Portillos. MMmmmm. I’m still continuing my letter campaign for them to offer fry sauce. No luck so far.

May 23, 2009
Beautiful wedding. Brad and I actually danced for two songs. I thought the day would never come. No photographic evidence … but we had many witnesses! Should I be concerned that it was the first time we’ve danced in public? Naw.

May 24, 2009
Had dinner with the family. Brad’s nephew was completely against eating the ribs until we were all finished, at which point he proceeded to go to town on the BONES and threatened to smear the juice on his sister (which was not well received, evidence below). That kid is going places.


Walked the River Walk in downtown Naperville. How do they keep that place so clean and hoodlum free? It’s gorgeous. I probably would have gotten some sort of ticket for taking a nap in the lilac bushes, but trust me, I was tempted.

May 25, 2009
Brad and his Dad replaced the Civic’s brakes. We are determined to drive that car until it dies, which may be sooner than we had anticipated.

May 27, 2009
So Can Dance. Is it bad that I schedule my night around it? Did I just hear them say there is going to be Fall season? There are a few I'm a little in love with, although still too soon to tell. But Vegas is next week!

Our favorite quote of the season so far? Nigel telling Mary, “Get a hold of your self woman! It’s just dance!” Brad and I say it to each other in ridiculous British accents.

May 28, 2009
Had the missionaries over for dinner (rescheduled from Tuesday when I forgot our appointment, oops). I tell you, it must be true love realizing I never get tired of hearing Brad tell missionary stories.

OH, FIRST IMPRESSIONS

At my company’s quarterly breakfast all the new employees were giving their traditional introductory poems (everyone has to do it and yes it’s awkward) and our brand new president went first. He was charming and blah blah blah and of course everyone nervously over-laughed. Then the next poet, a lowly standard employee, stood up said,

“The title of my poem is: For An Occasion.”

There was a collective “What did he just say?” because everyone had clearly heard,

“The title of my poem is: Fornication.”

The employee quickly tried to cover his tracks but couldn’t recover. I think everyone cried from laughing so long AND the employee didn’t even end up saying his poem. The icing on the cake? Once everyone finally settled down our new boss got up and said, “Who let that guy in?” Now he's known as the Fornication Guy, not a great resume builder.

CURRENTLY LISTENING

Brad and I have been known to cut a rug. Okay, FINE. No we haven't. Although sometimes we do have dance parties in our kitchen. Okay, not really. By "sometimes" I mean hardly ever and by "we" I mean mostly me. BUT if there ever was a song written precisely for kitchen dance parties this is it.



I snuck this song on to our Common Ground playlist about six months ago. Trust me - it will be stuck in your head for days. You're welcome.

PROM, APRIL 1966

Oh, to be in high school in the 60’s. My mom tells stories of wearing fake eyelashes everyday (to school!), literally ironing her hair, and sleeping positioned to preserve her expertly coifed beehive. Wasn’t it a magical time? Look at her prom photo. The gloves, the bangs (which are oddly similar to my own), the corsage? And I bet my aunt made her the dress. Plus check out her date!

I originally stole this picture when Kristin and I wanted to try out beehives (pre-Amy Winehouse), which never happened but I kept the photo ever since. Then a few months ago my Mom came to visit and asked, “Why do you have a picture of me and Gene Kelly on your fridge?” ...WAIT. Gene Kelly? As in Singing In the Rain? Your prom date shares his name with Don Lockwood? Awesome. This Gene Kelly played Will Parker to my mom’s Ado Annie in their high school production of Oklahoma! – and trust me when I say that words cannot express how much money I’d be willing to pay to see that. Dang slow developing technology!

On a side note. I didn’t post anything for her this past Sunday but I must say that I lucked out with a pretty excellent mom. I am currently realizing her exceptional awesomeness more and more every day - for her beauty, her smarts and her ability to create the perfect beehive.

[WARNING: BORING POST] THE TOUR

Kristin requested a tour of our apartment about six months ago, so I feel a bit foolish in taking so long to do this since recently she posted pictures of a house she doesn't even live in yet. Apologies - I'm a slacker. I'm pretty sure she was just being nice in the first place, but what the heck, here we go.

[Note to potential criminals/thugs/evil people that try to use these pictures to case our home, please kindly do not. 99% of our belongings were either free or came from Ikea/Goodwill. Also, we have a rabid dog, an excellent security system, Brad can bench press 800 pounds, and I've seen A LOT of Alias. Thanks.]

KITCHEN: Since this is the only place in the house that we get internet our kitchen table is probably the most well used area. The back door opens into this space and BONUS you can see our ONE FOOT of counter space. It makes cooking extra exciting.

DINING ROOM: From the kitchen you walk into the dining room. Mostly this room is used for Brad's crap. Since he doesn't use his den and the kitchen is either freezing in the winter or 1000 degrees in the summer this is where he spreads out his stuff. Usually you can find binders, papers, change, random clothes, empty glasses, and Brad taking a classroom style nap. BONUS#2, notice The Captain hung in the corner? That was gifted from Brad's parents. He grew up with The Captain and we are delighted that he watches over our dining room. Although, I usually feel like we should be eating shrimp and crab cakes with him there.

BEDROOM: Walking from the dining room you come to the middle of the house. Here you can see four doors within 2 feet (2 closets, bathroom, bedroom). Walking in to our bedroom you will find many a jimmy-rigged item. The piece of furniture holding our TV is Brad's mother's folding table (which we will return someday!) covered with a table cloth. In the right corner you can see a light green curtain. That is actually a little nook that was once a door onto the back porch. Someone once closed it off from the outside so it's just a random useless door. We mounted up a high shelf and hung a curtain rod to create another "closet" to hide a dresser and some plastic drawers. I hung sheer white curtains but the light is so bright you can't really see them.


[Normally we have a brown duvet cover, but it was in the wash]


BATHROOM: Also off of the center of the house is the bathroom. It's long and narrow and I have discovered through chipped paint that it was once pink. That is one tiny space for such a special color. These pictures actually make it look smaller than it is. There isn't a lot of wiggle room, but you don't feel claustrophobic. Also, a bathroom with no counter? That was definitely a man's idea.

DEN: This is Brad's den that is never used. Honestly the desk is too small for him to do much and we don't get internet access. So pretty much this room should be called the file/printer room. I will have no problem kicking him out to make this into a nursery at some point.


HALLWAY: I actually like our long entry way. BONUS#3, you can see the fake chandelier. The lighting in this house is top notch. The living room has no lighting, our bedroom just has four light bulbs screwed in, the kitchen and dining room both have florescent, and at the other end of this hallway is a gothic-esque hanging fixture (not pictured).


LIVING ROOM: This is by far the biggest room in the house (and it has no lighting, that's why there are 3 lamps) but I think we've managed to spread out our stuff enough to fill it up. This room also shows how high our ceilings are; we lucked out with 14 footers. We don't hear a peep from our upstairs neighbors. Our couch was a $30 purchase from Goodwill. Don't worry, I cleaned the crap out of that sucker, scotch guarded it, and then bought a slip cover so we weren't stuck with bright blue (Ash and K, remember the couch from #27? Yeah, that color blue.)


BOOK SHELVES: These pictures make it look like we live in a fun house, but I promise it's just a weird illusion because of the camera angle. These are the shelves that I Ikea Hacked. They came in that light pale beach wood color, which did not match. So I primed, painted and then lined the backs with retro poster paper. It's probably the most crafty I've ever been. Also, in these pictures you can see a corner of the blue couch from when I was washing the slip cover.


And that is a tour of our house. Come visit, we have an excellent air match and a nice big living room to set it up in. I know that my mom is probably the only one still reading but thanks! It almost felt like I was doing a sneak peak for Design Sponge.

SO CAN DANCE

Remember this?



And this?



And this? (skip to .48 sec)



And this? (skip to 1:29)



And this?


Ant this?



Remember Neil and Katie and Josh and Sabra and Dominic and Twitch and Travis and Heidi and Lacey and Benji and even awful Kameron? SYTYCD is the best, I miss them.
I even miss Mary Murphy a little. I said A LITTLE.

May 21st could not come sooner. It has been way too long.

TWENTY SIX

When I was younger I thought that when I turned 26th on the 26th day of April it would be THE BEST DAY EVER. It was going to be this incredible apex that would stop time with its awesomeness - I could not wait. So the day finally arrived yesterday and at my imaginary (and extra materialistic) birthday party I received the following gifts:

CAKE STAND

CHICAGO PRINT (although THIS ONE is kind of awesome)

ILLUMINATED GLOBE

SCHWINN BIKE (WITH BASKET)

VINTAGE ALTON, IL MAP PRINT

FIRST EDITION "ANNE OF GREEN GABLES"

AND A PLANE TICKET TO PARIS

(Had I imagined these gifts when I was 8 the list would read more like: a trampoline, Braves puffy Starter jacket, Lisa Frank stickers, and a pet dolphin.)

Well, time didn't stop and the above gifts were not actually given, but that does not negate the awesomeness that was my actual real birthday where husband took me out for a lovely meal, a trip to Barnes and Noble and then home for Bostom Cream Pie. I also received some pretty fantastic real gifts. It was a good day.

The huge tapered candles were the only ones on hand. Thank you to everyone for the goodies and the kind birthday wishes. My imaginary birthday party would have also included all of you.

CURRENTLY LISTENING

I claim that the first album I bought was:



But it was actually the second album I bought, this was my first:



And I can still listen to this album start to finish, it's so good. Does anyone have a clearer, purer voice than Allison Krauss? Love her.

Well, it appears I have come full circle. Recently I have been mildly obsessed with the blue grassy Mumford & Sons and while there is shockingly little written about them online I have deduced that they are British, one of the band members is named Country, and they often play with Laura Marling (also a mild obsession). As far as I can tell they haven't produced an actual physical album, but you can download their music here.

My favorites: My Heart Told My Hand, Roll Away Your Stone, Feel The Tide, Awake My Soul, The Cave, White Blank Page

They also do a mean Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.

Have a listen and fall in love.

THE MILKMAN, THE PAPERBOY, EVENING TV

Our friend Brett commented that in our banner Brad looks exactly like Will Forte from SNL. I guess I can kind of see it. Brad’s nose does look inexplicably pointy in that picture. This would be Brad if he was feeling especially dapper and drinking Martinelli's.

Also, last week my visiting teachers commented that Brad looks like Edward Cullen (Robert Pattison) from Twilight. I don't really see that one - Brad does have yellowish eyes, the forehead, and THE EYE BROWS (mentioned in this post and this post, I guess they are kind of the mascot of this blog). This is the picture they saw:


I just wasted 15 mins of my life google imaging "Edward Cullen Smile" and "Robert Pattinson Teeth" because this kid does not take happy pictures. Sheesh, you've got a cushy life, buck up.


So Brad gets a witty comedian and a vampire. I, on the other hand, grew up hearing that I looked like Stephanie Tanner. Yes, the same classy lady who was addicted to heroine and has recently had her child taken away. I should probably just confess now that in third grade I actually kind of loved this, Full House was my favorite show. But sometime before middle school it lost its cool factor. Even when I lived in Japan, 12ish years ago, people who barely spoke English would stop and point to me saying: “Ste-fah-nee, Foo Howss”. Embarrassing.

The majority of my old photos are still in Utah at my Mom's house, but I managed to find this winner of me at 13. Yes that is a Beauty and the Beast poster, and yes that is a daisy print bed spread. I was pretty awesome. (My head looks weirdly large, I promise there is a shadow.)

"How Rude!" in all her head-banded glory.

Another unexplainable trend is that I constantly have total strangers telling me, “You look just like my best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend… who passed out at 31 Flavors last night”. What do you say to that? “Thanks? I hope she’s a hot chick with a killer sense of style?” I probably get it a few times a year, but when I worked at Einstein’s Bagels in college I heard it about five times a week. Apparently, little S. Tanner grew up just a little faceless.

TECHNOLOGY

[image via allposters.com]

[So as to protect innocent parties I will leave this purposely vague.]

Yesterday I was preparing to teach a class of young girls the history of a particular religious book of songs. I went to a room where volunteers assist in letting us check-out books, pictures, TVs… anything that will help us with our lesson. I asked one of the elderly volunteers if I could check-out a CD of the songs recorded from said religious book. The perfectly sweet woman said, “Of course!” and proceeded to hand me a cassette tape. I thought her advanced maturity had affected her hearing so I repeated clearly and loudly, “Oh no, I ACTUALLY NEED A CD.” With a confused look she came back a few minutes later with a different cassette tape. I wasn’t sure how to proceed without offending her so I apologetically explained, “I’m looking for a compact disc, this is a cassette tape, what I need plays in a CD player?” She then waived the cassette around and said “This won’t play in a CD player?” To which I sweetly smiled and said “No, it’s flat and round?” Confusion. “Is it okay if I come in there and see?” She kindly obliged and I quickly found tucked next to the cassettes an entire row of CDs labeled accordingly. I mocked her same confusion for a few seconds and then, “Oh, here they are. This CD will work perfectly, thank you so much for your help.” She smiled and said, “I’m glad you found them, I would have never figured that one out.” I then went and taught my class the history of a book made in 1835 using my new fangled technology.

Let me say it was beyond awkward to not make her feel bad or talk down to her; because it’s not that she’s senile or blind. She’s just a part of a different generation that isn’t familiar with technology that first became available in 1982. Mind boggling. It makes me wonder what future technology I’ll fail to grasp.

I just wish I could be there when someone shows her an IPod.

EASTER '09

We have really enjoyed being a short 4 hours from Brad’s side of the family and we usually coordinate our visits with Brad’s sister, Ginger, who has six kids. It definitely keeps things interesting and usually means Brad’s mom doesn’t leave the kitchen for three straight days. When we left this last time I told Brad that it feels like we arrive, we eat, and then we leave. That might have something to do with the fact that besides the excellent home cooking we also have to make at least a few trips to Portillos. That’s a lot of food to fit in to 48 hours.

Somewhere between all the food we watched movies, had an Easter egg hunt, an Easter basket hunt (Brad had to ask his Dad for a hint), visited with friends and neighbors, went to Ikea (bought a coffee table, our last piece of furniture needed), went to Super Target (incredibly they don’t have Supers in St. Louis), and went to stake conference. Sheesh. Here is a round up of the pictures.

******

Cooper was our youngest hunter, but he caught on quick.

Poor Grace had a cast and sling on one arm, but she still found all ten eggs.

Each time Cassidy and Grace saw each other they would each smile and say "GrAAAAAce!" and "CassidYYYYY!". I'm going to start expressing my joy to see someone in this way.

Brad and I hid about 100 eggs but the hard ones were hidden in the back yard for the big kids (8 years old and up). If you look closely you can see a yellow egg perched on the base of the lamp, suprisingly they didn't find the obvious ones, we had to give them some big clues.

The big kids.

Spencer racing for the next egg. The first 5 minutes looked like this and then it was a lot of begging Brad and I to give them hints.

Portillos. Mmmmm. I'm a snob and pretty much don't eat hamburgers from anywhere else (unless I'm on the west coast for In-N-Out or in Utah for Burger Supreme or...).

Brad's highschool friends. The one on the right is getting married in May so many thanks to Todd for an excuse for another trip to Naperville in six weeks.

Brad's neighbor's dog, Lily. She is the best pug ever. Look at the squishy face!

Our sister-in-law just got a new cat and Brad pretends to not like them, but this little gal curled up on his lap and fell asleep. Even if you hate cats how can you not love a kitty?

Ella in her new Easter dress. Impossibly cute! I just want to kiss those cheeks.

PERSPECTIVE

Brad and I just realized last night that we have spent more money for his first two semesters at dental school then someone does for entire undergraduate education at BYU. So when he is done with his program we will have spent as much money as a four child family spends to send all their kids to college. Yikesabee! I think we better insure Brad’s hands. Have I ever blogged about how I have reoccurring dreams that Brad loses his hands in freak accidents? I do. All. The. Time. Football injury, car crash, lawn mowing, severe burns, terrorist attack… I live a stressful dream life.

YEAH, LIKE I WASN'T GOING TO BUY IT

*** I only saw it once in the theater and I don't know if it was the second viewing or the smaller screen but it was MUCH better than I remembered. Don't worry, I've already listened to the commentary with Robert, Kristen and the director. Rob is actually hilarious so that alone was worth the purchase.

*** Yes Jen, I could actually hear your eyes rolling all the way here in Illinois.

I DON'T DO APRIL FOOLS

BUT! if you feel the need to laugh you should probably take a moment to read this blog: Stuff White People Like. I ran it by Brad and he agrees that it isn't offensive, so I apologize if anyone else thinks otherwise. It’s written as a fake informative guide for a non-white person and explains various “white” phenomenons such as:

Ugly Sweater Parties
Organic Food
Daily Show/ Colbert Report
Arrested Development
Self Aware Hip Hop References
Apple Products
Threatening to Move to Canada
Non Profit Organizations
Gifted Children
80’s night
Indie Music
Vintage

And his list of 123 only gets better and more amusingly accurate… I now officially feel like a stereotype. Go have a read.

PS - the reason I don't do April Fools is that Brad and I became officially engaged exactly two years ago today so it feels more sentimental than anyting but more importantly I haven't thought of a truly clever joke to play on him yet. One of these years though...